Everyone wants to be liked. The more “likeable” you are, the more likely you are to forge great relationships. But likeability isn’t just important from a personal perspective – it’s also a strategic asset for professional development.
As a Harvard Business Review article states, “People prefer to do business with people they like”. This concept is backed up by countless scientific and psychological studies, highlighting the potential impact likeability can have on a person’s success.
Being likeable means you’re more likely to be offered attractive engineering roles, access promotion opportunities, and build valuable relationships with peers. So, what does it mean to be genuinely likeable, and how can you use your social skills to your advantage for career advancement?
The Psychology of Workplace Likeability
For some time now, behavioural scientists and psychologists have studied the impact of “likeability” on a person’s well-being, personal growth, and professional success. One researcher, Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, highlighted the importance of likeability in his work on “The Psychology of Persuasion.”
According to Cialdini, people are likelier to be influenced by individuals they inherently like. Likeable people are also more likely to receive support, information, and opportunities from colleagues, fostering opportunities for career progression.
Look at it this way: trust is critical to effective workplace relationships, and it’s difficult to “trust” someone you don’t like. When colleagues and business leaders find someone approachable and empathetic, they’re more likely to connect with them, pay attention to their insights, and help them access new growth opportunities.
An interesting concept related to the science of likeability is the “halo” effect, which frequently contributes to the unconscious biases that shape our relationships.
This phenomenon happens when we naturally attribute additional positive traits to someone based on one thing we like about them. For instance, if we see someone as kind and caring, we might also assume they are intelligent or skilled based on what we’ve learned through other relationships.
Core Components of Professional Likeability
So, what does it mean to be “professionally likeable” in the engineering industry? Ultimately, we can’t force anyone to “like” us. To forge genuine connections with others, we need to learn about their likes and dislikes and adapt to their specific needs. However, there are certain characteristics you can prioritise that are more likely to make you “likeable” from a professional perspective, such as:
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the foundation of likeability. It encompasses self-awareness, empathy, and social skills – all the things that allow you to navigate relationships with others. Studies into emotional intelligence constantly show that people with high “EI” scores are more likely to excel in leadership roles and collaborative settings because they can empathise with others and accommodate their emotional needs.
Active Listening Skills
It isn’t easy to like someone who never truly listens to your words. Active listening is a great way to show your colleagues and managers you respect them and their input. It can also help foster better understanding between teams, reducing the risk of conflicts and errors. Invest in not just listening to words but asking clarifying questions, paraphrasing, and responding to people’s words.
Authentic Relationship Building
Authenticity in professional interactions is vital for building trust. Authenticity involves sharing your values, admitting mistakes, and being transparent about your intentions. These behaviours demonstrate integrity and reliability, making you more relatable and trustworthy. It also means owning up to your mistakes when necessary and asking for forgiveness.
Non-Verbal Communication Skills
Non-verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, significantly influence likeability. The expression on your face or how you hold yourself during a conversation can dramatically affect the message you “send” to the people around you. Practice positive body language, like keeping your arms open (unfolded), maintaining eye contact, and smiling.
Reciprocity Principles
The principle of reciprocity is a powerful tool for cultivating likeability. People naturally feel compelled to return favours or kindness, fostering positive relationships. Whether it’s sharing insights, helping, or celebrating a colleague’s achievements, acts of goodwill create mutual respect and camaraderie, reinforcing your professional network.
Common Pitfalls and Misconceptions
While workplace likeability is a powerful tool for career advancement, it’s easy to make mistakes. In the quest to ensure everyone “likes” you, you might go overboard, concentrating on people-pleasing rather than authenticity. Sacrificing your values or suppressing your genuine self to gain approval can make it harder for people to trust you.
Over-accommodation is another hurdle to avoid. While you might think saying “yes” to every request and bending over backwards for colleagues and managers will make you more likeable, it puts your work-life balance at risk. Failing to set and constantly maintain boundaries can lead to burnout and even lose you the respect of your colleagues.
Other points to keep in mind are how you adapt your behaviour to suit different groups in your organisation. As the workplace becomes increasingly global, it’s worth considering the different emotional needs and behaviours of groups from different locations.
Remember to consider the characteristics that your workplace values. Likeability might come from directness, assertiveness, and proactivity for some teams. For others, subtlety and humility might be preferred.
Becoming Likeable: Practical Application Strategies
Cultivating likeability is just like building any other skill. It takes time, patience, and commitment. You’ll need to commit to constantly finding new ways to strengthen your relationships with others and learn from mistakes you might make. Here are some strategies to explore.
Approach Interactions Carefully
Every engineering interaction is an opportunity to build rapport. Start by showing genuine interest in others – ask thoughtful questions, listen attentively, and pay attention to what people want and need from you. Simple gestures like greeting people warmly, using their names, and expressing appreciation for their contributions can significantly enhance your likeability.
Learn How to Communicate Virtually
In the world of flexible and remote work, you won’t always be able to connect with colleagues and contacts face-to-face. That means building likeability through virtual interactions, from video calls to emails and instant messages. In video meetings, maintain eye contact by looking at the camera and use facial expressions and gestures to convey warmth. In written communication, avoid overly formal or impersonal language.
Prepare for Conflict Management
Effectively handling workplace conflicts is a hallmark of professional likeability. Approach disagreements with empathy and a focus on problem-solving. Use “I” statements to express your perspective without placing blame and actively listen to understand the other person’s concerns. Strive to find common ground and propose collaborative solutions. Remember, conflict resolution isn’t about winning; it’s about fostering trust and maintaining positive relationships.
Invest in your Network
Building a robust professional network requires authenticity and reciprocity. Attend industry events, join online forums, and participate in team activities to meet and connect with others. Be proactive in offering assistance, sharing valuable resources, or introducing contacts who might benefit from knowing each other. The principle of reciprocity – helping others without expecting immediate returns – can lead to lasting professional engineering relationships.
Manage your Reputation
Your reputation will often precede you in the engineering industry. Ensure you build a strong reputation based on the likeable characteristics you want to show. Deliver on your commitments, show your reliability, and recognise and appreciate others. Be wary of how you present yourself both online and in person. Don’t make the mistake of sharing harmful thoughts or problematic statements on social media.
Measure and Improve Your Likeability Factor
Measuring your likeability factor involves combining self-reflection with feedback from others to identify strengths and areas for improvement. You can use insights from personality assessments and emotional intelligence surveys to help guide you. Source feedback directly from peers, mentors, and supervisors by asking for specific examples of areas where you can improve.
Keep an eye on tangible indicators of your success – such as increased collaboration opportunities or peer recognition. Additionally, commit to continuous improvement. Constantly adjust your approach based on feedback and the results you achieve.
Building Your Path to Professional Likeability
Likeability is a powerful trait in the world – particularly if you hope to make rapid career progress. Fortunately, it is possible to cultivate likeability like you would develop any other skill. Start with a self-assessment and use the strategies in this guide to make yourself more approachable and appealing to the people around you.
Boosting your “likeability” will allow you to access more promotions and opportunities and pave the way to powerful relationships that will help you throughout your career – no matter where your path takes you.
All the best
Steve
At Coalesce we have been supporting engineering candidates for over 28 years; if you would like our input into how you can leverage your social skills for career progression, then give us a call on 07512 821708 or email us here.